• 03.14.10 Billy Susbuck sez:

  I have never understood this aspect of life, and I don’t believe that I ever will. The Juggalos are a constant source of fuddlement.

• 03.15.10 Ahoyhoj sez:

  A nice little feature I found if you actually click into youtube from the embedded video is the youtube beta closed captioning. There is a reason it’s still in beta, and thats because it’s hilarious.

• 03.16.10 bootybass sez:

  There’s a 90% chance he wrote that spiel beforehand. Imagine if he was making it up! Ugh.

  That said, I’ll take these people over Martin Bashir any day. What a smug prick.

• 03.15.10 snoot sez:

  This guy needs to just drink some Faygo and chill the funk out

• 03.14.10 stin splinters sez:

  I think all 3 of them are half-assing it in this one.

• 03.14.10 stin splinters sez:

  hahaha i know thats ted nugent THE BEAR

• 03.14.10 stin splinters sez:

  After the release of their debut, the Damn Yankees went on a year-and-a-half world tour with the likes of a revamped Bad Company, Poison and Jackyl. Their U.S. tour coincided with the Persian Gulf War, in which the band unfurled American flags and made patriotic statements. Nugent’s onstage archery stunts lead to being arrested and fined after firing a burning arrow into an effigy of Saddam Hussein in Colorado.

Read more… or Read more right here… »

1. Easy

(2:00) Wow, does that melody meander.  My favorite parts are where it gets kinda jazzy and Randy Newman-ish, but I’d rather listen to Randy Newman, even if it’s the Toy Story soundtrack.

2. Have One on Me

(0:30)What the fuck is it about her voice that drives me up the wall so much?  It’s not particularly nasal, and only occasionally quavery these days.  She does this weird half-yelling thing sometimes apropos of nothing in the lyrics, almost like she’s just trying to stay awake.  (I need to find a lyric sheet, because it sounds like she’s just listing words from Henry Darger’s brain glossary.  Is there a story here?  I feel like there might be.)

(3:00)What’s with the hoedown fiddle that pops up once in a while?  Okay, and now processional horns.  Obviously.

(6:00)Ugh, five more minutes of this?  Ugggggggh.  Just stick to the harp.  Stop slapping shit on top of a song that isn’t memorable in the first place.  She’s building a pretty golden box of arrangements to hold a song Van Dyke Parks wrote and forgot about when he was 17.

(6:45) Ooh!  Handclaps!   Okay, this shit’s getting good.  There’s a rhythm, and a discernible melody.  Keep it going, lady.  You can do it.

(7:15) Well, that ended abruptly, and for no discernible reason.

(9:00)Oh great, a chorus of Joannas.  If this is the choir in Limbo, Socrates is perpetually trying to slash his phantom wrists.  Sorry, buddy!  Bang some crying heathen babies together if you want to block it out.

(10:30)So, she mentioned both tarantulas and daddy longlegs (which, as a child, I adorably referred to as “Dandy Longlegs”) in the song.  Is this her tribute to the John Goodman classic Arachnophobia?

<Autechre break.  I get more coffee, and do a bathroom run.  My fingers are numb, for whatever reason, so I run them under hot water.  Come on, blood!  It’s okay, it’ll all be over soon.>

3. ’81

Alright, this is kinda pretty.  Presumably it’s going to go off the deep end sooner or later.

I wonder if my fundamental problem with Newsom is that she finds nature to be charming and welcoming, and I’m more on the Werner Herzog/Lars Von Trier side of things.  Nature wants to kill and eat us.  It does not want us to have garden parties and be frolicsome.  Again, a lyric sheet would help with this.  Maybe I’m missing the fascinating dark side here.

(3:30) Decent song… until that high note, at least.  Be thankful for reverb, Dearest Joanna.

4. Good Intentions Paving Company

This is the hit, right?  The single, I mean.

(0:30) Another chorus of Joannas!  Look, Green Gartside gets a pass for that shit, because his voice is an asset.   Newsom’s is a sticking point.  At least she wavers consistently.  Must be all that classical training.

(5:00) I wonder how much of Newsom’s fan base overlaps with Joni Mitchell’s.  Newsom has a bigger inclination to throw waaaaay too much into a given song, but the actual melodies of her stuff strike me the same way.  And their voices both drive me up the same wall.

<Autechre Break II.  I’m a half hour in, and this is fabulous.  I’m in a place this year where the hip hop genus of pop music just appeals to me more.  Yet, I still listen to Cocteau Twins on a regular basis.  And ABBA.

Oh that’s right, they both write pop songs competently.  Which Joanna Newsom used to do, at one point.  I think?)>

5. No Provenance

So “provenance,” huh?  Is that like providence?  Or is it, like, the state of wanting proof for something?  You know, like someone from Missouri.

<I look it up>

–noun

place or source of origin: The provenance of the ancient manuscript has never been determined.

Ooh, mysterious!  What has no place or source of origin?  GOD?  LOVE?  Barack Obama? (snap!)

This, too, is kinda pretty.  Here’s Newsom’s trick, as far as I can tell: send a song down a rabbit hole of drifting melodies and cluttered arrangements, then pull it back out with a simple, pretty motif.  Here, that motif is when she sings “In your arms.”  It almost feels like she’s grudgingly admitting what it takes to create an enjoyable pop song, but only long enough to trick someone into listening a bit longer.

(6:00) Really?  “Pretty Johnny Appleseed?”  How does anyone get away with that shit?

6. Baby Birch

Yes!  Give the notes some space!  You’ve got a fancy recording study with nice reverb boxes.  Put ‘em to use!  Why, in 2010, does everyone think “more is better” except dubstep producers and the XX?  (Yes, I understand Autechre pile stuff on to a ridiculous extent.  But they’re old hands at it.  And a beat always helps.)

This is the first winner, six songs in.  The contrasting guitar/harp/whatever part during the bridge (chorus?) is gorgeous, and thoughtful.  It serves a purpose.  MORE LIKE THIS, PLEASE.

(5:45) I just noticed this is nine and a half minutes long.  I’m back to tentative approval.

(6:45) Alright, more hand claps!  Build it up!  Go!  Drive ‘er home!

(8:15) I’m half expecting a piccolo solo to break in and ruin things about now.

(8:30) Oh, wait, I’m sorry.  It’s a mandolin.  I was close, though.

Why do I feel like that disc should be punctuated with a gong?

Final ratio: 40 minutes of Autechre listened vs. 43 minutes of Newsom.  This is presumably a victory of some kind.  For me, and mankind.

« Hide it

• 03.07.10 stin splinters sez:

  More like Joanna TWOsome